wahh.

I say that a lot. Especially when I'm teasing people for complaining... Unfortunately, there is truth to every joke. I complain a lot, there's no denying it. I wish I'd get slapped or shocked every time I did because I honestly hate listening to incredibly blessed people complain all the time. Nobody's life is easy but we definitely make it harder than it should be. 

Maybe I've got rose-colored glasses on because my life is moving smoothly right now. 

Maybe it's because my heart is so full of love for so many people. Maybe it's because I'm not perfect and I struggle more than I'd like people to know. Maybe it's because I'm in love. Maybe it's because I've got the worlds best family and friends holding me up. every single day. Maybe it's because I live in a beautiful country, city and home. Maybe it's because I am beyond blessed to have an education. Maybe it's because I'm alive and well and able. Maybe it's because I've got opportunity for success laid out on silver platters right under my nose. 

And maybe, just maybe, I'm growing up. 

I'm learning that life is hard and that I need to deal with it. I've learned to trust few, but give everyone an opportunity to speak their mind and feel comfortable. I've learned to put on a happy face. I've learned to have more patience (still working on this... it's a daily battle). I've learned to love myself, because that's the only way I can truly love others. I've learned to breathe. Breathing isn't always the best solution. It's good to let off steam. It's good to eat ice cream and cry. It's good to take a day off and forget about the stress. It's great to sleep it off. It's good to write letters. It's good to be alive. 

I want to look back on these past years... high school... and smile. Smile a giant, ear-to-ear grin. Definitely laugh, definitely remember the tears and drama. Definitely remember who I was and how much I've grown. I want to be happy with who I became and how I got there. I want to look back on pictures and tell stories. Nostalgia. I don't want to remember the days I was so irritable and mean to the people I love most. I don't want to remember the nights I lied to friends or my parents because I was too much of a coward to speak the truth. I don't want to remember the days I fought with my brothers or parents. I want to remember the lessons learned and how I felt after. 

I hope that I look back and I'm proud of myself. I hope my parents are proud of me. I hope my friends are proud of me. I have so much hope that I will succeed and be happy and make a difference in other people's lives. Hope will keep me fighting. I mostly hope that I live a fulfilling life. 

Smile, my loves. I hope all these things for you too. 

xoxo

kylee jean