Blossoming

My heart is so full of gratitude right now. It could be the season of {Christ}mas... Whatever it is, I'm thankful that I have so many people and reasons to be thankful.

Here goes a giant, fat thank you to many people...

Thank you to...

My parents. You two have given me the world and infinite opportunities to succeed/grow/learn/make mistakes/love/teach/etc..

My brothers. You guys keep me on my toes, always make me think and laugh, and teach me new things all the time. I'm so glad that we have become the best of friends.

Elder Logan Wilson. I love you... You know that though. I didn't think it was really possible to love him more after he left, or learn something from him everyday, or to just know that I couldn't live without him. I wouldn't be happy without him, simple as that.

My amazing, beautiful, hilarious roommates. I say it everyday, you ladies are the biggest answer to my prayers and such a blessing. I know that very few girls come home from college and have 5 new (or old) best friends that will be around forever. Thank the heavens that I was able to live with these chicks for the past 4 months, and have the next 4 months to become even better friends. I love you dudes... thanks for being by my side at our first semester of college!

My friends. I freaking miss you guys, ya know that?? It's the hardest thing to be away from the people you've grown up with and love the most. No more adventures, laughs, inside jokes, or stupid things to do over the weekends... We've gone our separate ways, but I still love you all and hope and pray that you are doing well. Let me know if you need anything!

Missionaries. I have the best missionary friends. No doubt about it. Thanks for feeding my spiritual appetite every Sunday/Monday. You guys and gals are the best examples to me!

Kimberly King. She's an angel and one tough cookie. Let's just say that she and her blog have helped me out more than she'll probably ever know. Thanks for the advice and friendship Kim!

My extended family and friends. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and members from the CF gyms, people I've met at school... Thanks for always supporting me, & giving me advice and positive words. The more support, the better because Heaven knows I struggle and need lots of help from loving people.

And most of all, my Heavenly Father... seriously, that guy. and Jesus Christ.. daaang, Gina. All I'm going to say is HOLLA! because the church is true and these guys are looking out for me.

I could never thank you guys enough. Honestly, you're all a blessing and have helped me out in more ways than I could count. Thank you for helping me grow up. I've really changed in the past year.... for the better! I love life and I'll continue to keep blossoming.

xoxo 

kylee jean

See Ya Laters... Not Goodbyes

I've stayed home this summer more than any other. I've laughed with my parents and brothers more than I thought possible. I thought all was well until I had to start saying my goodbyes. But, I really don't want them to be goodbyes. I just want to see them all later. 

The people I've grown up with. The people that have shaped me into the Kylee that I'm truly proud to be. And I am that girl because of my parents, my leaders, my teachers, Abbi Liddell, Hailey Fonda, Logan Wilson, McKel Woodbury, Kenzie Bailey, Austin Lyon and so many others. 

To all my dear friends that have moved away to college or onto a mission... have so much fun. I love you all and I think about you all the time already. You guys are the greatest friends I'll ever have and I will always have your backs!

To my parents... I could never thank you enough. Thank you for the unconditional love and support. Thank you for letting me learn on my own. Thank you for helping me grow up. Thank you for giving me so many opportunities. Thank you for becoming my best friends.

To my brothers... Don't grow up too fast. Love your parents. Love your friends. Enjoy school, learning, reading, growing, meeting new people and being alive. Don't give up and don't do too many stupid boy things. Go outside and breath the fresh air. Don't forget to call once in awhile, because I love you guys so dang much. Thanks for putting up with my moods, attitude and endless teasing... You only tease the ones you love.

To Abbi... (here come the real tears, this has been the hardest 'see ya' yet...) "Growing up won't bring us down." "This is my oath to you: Where you go, just always remember that you got a home now and forever. And if you get low, just call me whenever..." Thank you for being the closest thing I've got to a sister. I know that my moving away won't change a thing between us.. If anything, we'll be better friends. Please come visit. Please always laugh and smile and love your life. Please don't forget the laughs, driving around with the sun roof open, singing at the tops of our lungs, CD exchanges, outfit texts every night before school, dance nights, 17 sleep overs in a row, spring break in Yuma, stupid boys and stories, crafts we'll never finish, The Maine concert, talking about our futures, all the drama, quotes, bucket lists, laying out, Montana, nail painting... These adventures will never end. They'll go on forever and we'll go on creating them. Thank you for never giving up on my craziness. You're a blessing in the lives of many and you're beautiful, PLEASE never forget it. Don't worry about the stupid boys now. Learn everything and read all the books. Stay unique and beautiful. Do what you love and don't let anyone question you. 

To Logan... Thank you for helping me grow up. Thank you for teaching me to love myself and feel important and beautiful. Thank you for showing me what it feels like to be loved no matter what mistakes I make. Thank you for your patience and forgiveness. People don't understand us & I really don't mind because, my heavens, I've fallen madly in love with you. I can't wait to see what the future holds. You'll be amazing in Singapore and bless so many lives with your positive attitude and perfect smile. Don't forget to write!

To Hailey... You're the best example and friend I'll ever have. I want to be beautiful and strong and virtuous like you when I grow up. I could never thank you enough for putting up with me and sticking around. I can't wait to share this new college adventure with you. The good times will never end and I will always be around for you. I owe you that, at least. I love you!

I made it through this post with all the tears I had left... for today (; I am truly excited for this new adventure. I never thought it would be so hard to let go of some things and tell all the people  I love that I'll see them in a few weeks or months. Good things are on their way, the best is yet to come and I can't wait to grow up a little bit more. 

xoxo 

kylee jean

hello there...

first of all, it's been a minute since i've posted... almost 2 months! yikes.. i've been pretty busy, i suppose! Finishing high school, graduating (surround by my very best friends and family), starting 2 jobs at once, and just summer in general... it takes a lot out of a girl(;
also, i need a new blog name! since i am no longer 17, and i haven't been for a minute, i'll have to figure that out (:

so tonight (last night/this morning?), i discovered my love/hate relationship for 3 word responses.

hate:

i don't care, it doesn't matter, you tell me, i don't know, this is boring, 

love:

i love you, i miss(ed) you, let's do it, let's run away, i want you, i trust you, 

specifically, "I don't care,"  

i didn't realize how indecisive i am until i got pointed fingers at. i feel like i'm losing my creativity and i'm too lazy to become that again. i just want to be prepared with activities and ideas so i don't ever have to say "i don't care" again. Even though... i seriously don't care. i'm becoming more laid back and also more open to whatever comes my way. So, it's good and bad. 

and "I love you."

love is.. strange. i love so many things and people, truly, i do. i have a hard time telling people that i love them. even my own parents! so, when those 3 words were spoken to me, the feeling was.. mmm. nearly enough to bring this girl to tears. i've just never felt something so strongly. literally my whole being, every fiber in my body was weak. these three words have been said to me before, obviously. like he said though, it was a love we chose, not something we were just given. i can't begin to explain how i feel or how it felt at the time but know that I'm happy. 

it's amazing how 3 simple words can make or break a night. 3 words made me so irritated and then 3 different words turned into something that i will most likely never forget; a feeling that i hope never goes away and a feeling that happens often. 

the best part? it wasn't something crazy. it just happened. a lot of this probably doesn't make sense if you're reading it... but it makes sense in my head and that's all i really need from this blog of mine. so there's that. 

the coming post's will most likely make more sense, although i'm not making any promises (:

xoxo

kylee jean

My Sweet Papa

18 years ago, on Friday, I was brought into this world by my absolutely lovely parents. On that day, it happened to be my Papa's birthday. May 17th would be quite the day to remember for the both of us, from then on out. Not only was I the first grandchild on the Terry side, but I landed my birth right on the 50th birthday of the man in charge. Every year since then, we've  shared fun parties and/or sweet phone calls on that day. 

This year, I was a loser and didn't call him until Saturday... Regardless, I never forget those moments when I learn a little more from a wise, old man. He's shared countless stories and experiences with me, where I take something away and hope I can have such experiences. 

Yesterday was no different. 

I called him in the late morning. We discussed my graduation and our birthday. Then, he mentioned that he didn't know I was planning on serving a mission until he got my grad announcement. He told me a story of getting set apart and his stake president telling him that he would never be a successful missionary until he learned to love the people of his mission. He gave me advice on how to prepare for a mission and to get ready for college. He got emotional as he told me how important I am to him. My heart got full and my eyes swelled with tears. 

I sure do love my sweet Papa and I hope that we have many birthdays to come. He has done more for me and my family than most people could ever comprehend, and few will understand why. I'm grateful for his example, testimony and unconditional love in my life. 

I love you, Papa. 

xoxo

kylee jean

wahh.

I say that a lot. Especially when I'm teasing people for complaining... Unfortunately, there is truth to every joke. I complain a lot, there's no denying it. I wish I'd get slapped or shocked every time I did because I honestly hate listening to incredibly blessed people complain all the time. Nobody's life is easy but we definitely make it harder than it should be. 

Maybe I've got rose-colored glasses on because my life is moving smoothly right now. 

Maybe it's because my heart is so full of love for so many people. Maybe it's because I'm not perfect and I struggle more than I'd like people to know. Maybe it's because I'm in love. Maybe it's because I've got the worlds best family and friends holding me up. every single day. Maybe it's because I live in a beautiful country, city and home. Maybe it's because I am beyond blessed to have an education. Maybe it's because I'm alive and well and able. Maybe it's because I've got opportunity for success laid out on silver platters right under my nose. 

And maybe, just maybe, I'm growing up. 

I'm learning that life is hard and that I need to deal with it. I've learned to trust few, but give everyone an opportunity to speak their mind and feel comfortable. I've learned to put on a happy face. I've learned to have more patience (still working on this... it's a daily battle). I've learned to love myself, because that's the only way I can truly love others. I've learned to breathe. Breathing isn't always the best solution. It's good to let off steam. It's good to eat ice cream and cry. It's good to take a day off and forget about the stress. It's great to sleep it off. It's good to write letters. It's good to be alive. 

I want to look back on these past years... high school... and smile. Smile a giant, ear-to-ear grin. Definitely laugh, definitely remember the tears and drama. Definitely remember who I was and how much I've grown. I want to be happy with who I became and how I got there. I want to look back on pictures and tell stories. Nostalgia. I don't want to remember the days I was so irritable and mean to the people I love most. I don't want to remember the nights I lied to friends or my parents because I was too much of a coward to speak the truth. I don't want to remember the days I fought with my brothers or parents. I want to remember the lessons learned and how I felt after. 

I hope that I look back and I'm proud of myself. I hope my parents are proud of me. I hope my friends are proud of me. I have so much hope that I will succeed and be happy and make a difference in other people's lives. Hope will keep me fighting. I mostly hope that I live a fulfilling life. 

Smile, my loves. I hope all these things for you too. 

xoxo

kylee jean