this week~

What an eventful week I've had. I feel like there are so many great things that happened but I just don't know how to write them all down without writing a novel! 

Sunday- I went to a farewell with Abbi, Mama Liddell, Hailey and Austin for our darling friend Riley Andus. I literally can't express my joy and excitement when it comes to missionaries. Riley is going to be amazing. His farewell talk was one of the best I've ever heard; how lucky am I to have known such an exceptional young man. (:(:(:

Weekdays- I got new classes this week with the new semester and all... I cannot believe I have 85 days of high school until I graduate.. I'm honestly in shock. I am beyond stoked but nervous and anxious. Ahh! All of my new classes are lovely though, regardless of the work they'll require.

I have the best best friends in the world. That is so over said on my blog, but I could care less.... it's the absolute truth. They never fail to make me laugh, feel better or help me with nearly everything. I'm just blessed with good friends... I can't say it any other way and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Highlights- I love my new seminary class. I'm striving to have a better grade this quarter.
I still have a 4.0 GPA for this year, wahooo!
I like a boy who makes me smile.. literally nonstop. He's darling, nice, has high standards, makes me happy and my friends like him. How lovely (:
I dyed my hair red. Don't fret- it's practically natural (; I used henna hair dye and I'm literally obsessed. It worked like a gem and everyone seem to love it just as much as me. YAY!!

I'm just so happy and content with my life right now. I can't say it any other way. I hope all of you are feeling that way also.. or at least getting to that point. There's nothing better than being happy. Plus, smiles look so much better on people than scowls do... food for thought, my little lovelies.

xoxo

kylee jean

Kylee's Dictionary: Falling in Love

“I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once.” John Green could not have said a more true statement about love. We see something that we might like or a person we could see ourselves falling in love with. We look at falling in love like a giant, glimmering lake. We dip our toe in to see if we would enjoy what it has to offer. When we realize that the water is warm, we jump right in, unafraid of what problems could lay ahead. Life should be about falling in love. Not only with people, but also with life and the many things it has to offer.

I wonder if love is feeling like a little girl getting her first doll; the joy and sparkle in her eyes as she inspects every inch of it. She loves that thing more than life itself and takes it everywhere. Or, maybe, it’s the feeling you get after a great performance. You can’t stop smiling, you’re excited, and you feel good. Then, they give you the trophy as the final reassurance that your performance was the best that day. Love should also be a rush, the kind you get after a good workout – you’re satisfied and exhilarated. It could be like meeting a new person. You watch them and hold your head high, careful to say and do the right things for a good first impression. You feel that cautiousness with falling in love because it is a fragile thing.

In the book Lucky by Jackie Collins, she states, “falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded…It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger. Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.” In my short, seventeen years, this is what I’ve felt – sometimes with boys – but mostly all of the beautiful things and ideas in life.

During my teenage years, boys have come and gone and will continue to do so. Yet, I still think I fall madly in love with a different boy every time. This boy will consume all of my thoughts, until the next one comes along. The best part about falling in love with someone new is having him appear in my life out of nowhere and I’m excited about him everyday. I get pushed off of that diving board all the time and end up spending a short amount of time on cloud nine. Like Jackie Collins said, it’s my love rollercoaster and I “just have to let it take its course.”

My parents have been married for nineteen years now. Growing up, I don’t remember them acting silly and being lovey-dovey. Now that I’m older, I see them falling in love every day. They started off with very different personalities and passions. As time has passed, they have grown together. I can see them falling in love with each other everyday. They find something new to love all the time. I think that is a beautiful thing about falling in love. Tom Hiddleston says, ”It’s about the fact that the whole world, the whole universe just looks so much more beautiful! All of a sudden everything looks different and your heart will just start smiling. That’s what love is all about…” I see my parents smiling and working together to show me what falling in love really is. They didn’t just fall in love, get married and then struggle for the rest of their marriage. My mom and dad continue falling in love everyday to make their marriage better.

Not only should we fall in love with people, but also with the things that life can offer us. A quote with an unknown author said, “I fall in love with people’s passion. The way their eyes light up when they talk about the thing they love…” Life is all about falling in love with life. Our lives are based on our passions and doing the things we love. If you don’t look forward to doing something everyday, your life is going to waste. I love watching people fall in love with what they do. I see my twelve-year-old brother play soccer every single day, regardless of the weather or his schedule. Nothing makes him happier than running around with his team, dribbling and passing the ball. He literally lights up when he’s playing soccer. He said it simply, “soccer is the best sport. I love it because I love my team. I love to score and it makes me feel good no matter what.”

I have fallen in love with people’s passions. The best thing in the world is seeing someone with a genuine smile on his face. If going to work everyday, playing lacrosse, cooking in the kitchen, or watching TV makes someone happy, then I love it. In a sense, I fall in love with people who are falling in love. Those things could be the most boring activities in the world to someone else, but if it makes another person happy, we should boost them up and help them continue falling in love with those passions.

Personally, I adore taking pictures. I’m not the world’s best photographer and I don’t know everything there is to know about a camera, editing and getting the right shot. I do know that having a camera in my hands and hearing the subtle click of the camera as I capture an image feels incredible. I am literally freezing a moment in time. I will have that moment forever. Like anything, falling in love with pictures took time. It has been a slow progression but being on Yearbook this year has helped me realize that I love taking pictures. I love it because I can freeze people doing what they love. Not only can I hold on to that image, but they also get the lasting memory of that moment and they can go back to that time and feelings.

Love is simply incredible happiness and wishing for someone else’s happiness to be greater than your own. As a seventeen-year-old, I think that’s what falling in love feels like. Falling in love is sporadic but forever and constant. It’s silly and funny but honest and sincere. It’s truthful and trustworthy. Love makes mistakes. To be loved is great, but to be loved in return is the greatest thing life can offer. Love is a leap of faith, stepping into new realms of the world. Love feels like your first concert, your first day of school, driving fast, finding new music, laughing, a good hair day, and learning from your mistakes, learning something new or accomplishing a goal. The feeling that those things give you… I think that’s how you should feel when you’re in love and loving life.

So, next time you think you’re falling in love, don’t be afraid to go slow and then fall in deep all at once.  Don’t be afraid to jump in to the water. Like Shaun Rosenberg says, “Learn to love the things that are going good in your life. Learn to love your friends, your family, and your passions.” Life will only get easier once we realize that all we have to do is fall in love.

xoxo 

kylee jean

Happy

It's amazing how someone can make you so happy; how they can make you forget every worry you have and just make you smile for hours on end.

This is my story about Logan. 

It's not like he's a new friend or anything. We've been friends through all of high school. We had sophomore gym together, he came to my sweet 16, we've talked off and on, I have him rides home from school... Good times. These past 2 weekends, we've hung out and I can't even handle it. I had lost all hope for humanity and good people but Logan.... He's something else. He is the happiest, down-to-earth, genuine, sweetest kid I've ever met. He taught and impacted me more than any of my friends ever could in two hours. I want to tell anyone that knows him that it's a priveledge. I can't begin to explain him in words. (At this point, you're all thinking I'm in love with him... Wrong. I'm not). Anyways, he's so real. He's accepting of other people and he hopes for the best in everything. THAT makes me happy. I don't think I stop smiling when I'm with him. The things he says and how he says them either a) make so much sense and makes me think or b) is straight up hilarious (i.e. "that's my joint", "I'm not about that", "That was the illest!" .. But you have to know Logan to understand his slang). He's just one of the greatest humans that I've ever had the opportunity to know. I wish you all could know him.

I'm not saying I'm in love with him. It's just not every day that you find someone who never bores you, is content with being silly and just hanging out and talking - no fancy adventure needed, and above all, is 100% genuinely happy with life. He's my newest hero. I definitely love the kid to the moon and back. Everyone deserves to know someone who makes them happy. Right now, Logan is doin' it for me.

xoxo

kylee jean 

Testimonies

Today was the first Sunday of the month... which means Fast and Testimony Meeting. I make my very best efforts to fast when necessary but I find it very difficult to walk my shaking, nervous body up to the pulpit and share with everyone what I truly believe. <---- This boggles my mind because I have no problem bearing my testimony in seminary or to my friends but I guess being in church is a different feeling. This morning, (yikes, we started 9 o'clock church today... I barely made it on time, but looked pretty cute(:) I couldn't stop shaking. It's a goal in seminary this month to bear our testimonies at least once and my sunday school teacher texted me and said that she had asked us to go up. I decided that there was a lot riding on this moment, not only for those people who expect me to share, but for myself. Each time I stand at the pulpit and feel the tears swell up in my eyes, the tightness in my throat and my pounding heart, I just know that I need to do it more often. It's a learning experience each time. I learn something new about myself and how I really feel. For me, I try to plan things out and collect my thoughts before but by the time I get the to mic, my mind is blank and I just have word vomit. I'm surprised that I even make sense.

Today was different though. My lip didn't quiver, I didn't sob and I didn't get so nervous that I just ended it and got out as quick as possible. I felt like I carried myself with poise. I did cry, it's inevitable. I felt very calm though and I looked at the audience without any fear. I hope that these moments happen more often than not. Bearing my testimony strengthened my testimony of feeling at peace. God, Jesus Christ and the Spirit often grant us with moments of peace and sometimes it goes unrecognized. Today it was like getting slapped in the face... quietly. hahaha make sense? I haven't felt so calm and peaceful in so long. It felt incredibly good.

I believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church on the earth today. I know that Jesus Christ is MY savior and he atoned for each one of my sins. I'm unbelievably grateful for that knowledge. I am grateful for Joseph Smith and his courage at 14 to get down on his knees, knowing something just wasn't right in his life. I feel forever indebted to these two people. I know that we have temple work to enrich our lives and create eternities for others and ourselves. I LOVE the temples. I know that we have persistent leaders and teachers in the church to make us better and never give up. I've had times that I just wanted to give up because I didn't think it really mattered all that much-I could be happy by myself... WRONG. The only way to be completely blissful in this life is to follow God and his teachings. How grateful I am for the knowledge of eternal happiness, eternal families and repentance. I know these things with a surety in my heart. It takes time to know these things and I have SO much more to learn. I hope that if you don't know any of this, you learn about it and love it like I do. If you do know this, practice it every day. I'm working on it, I promise. I say these these things in the sacred name of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

A new year

It is now 2013. How bizarre is that? I don't feel any different or anything crazy, but it's still awesome to know that 1) the world didn't end 2) it's time to refocus myself and 3) I get to set new goals. 

This year is going to present many opportunities for me to experience life. I am. so. excited. 

To recap 2012, it was quite the year. Many absolutely wonderful things and things that I'm glad I got to learn from. I discovered who my honest, true friends are and I learned how much I truly love my family, especially my parents. It makes me happy that I made it through yet another year and learned so many things. I'm also stoked that I get the chance to refocus and become even better than I was last year. 

So far, I've got a couple goals in mind. I hope that I will honestly stick to them this year, because in all reality, I couldn't tell you what my goals were last year.. obviously I was really motivated. These are just the ones I've come up with in the past three days. I'm hoping that I will come up with more. There's nothing wrong with setting a million goals, as long as they're achievable.

1) You can't overuse please and thank you. I realized that people are very ungrateful and have close to no manners. It makes me sad because everyone has something great to offer and it often goes unrecognized. I hope that I will learn better manners and make people feel good about what they are doing.

2) Think something mean, say something nice. Unfortunately, I'm quite opinionated and say exactly what I'm feeling, regardless if it's mean or nice or unnecessary. I'm hoping that I can work on becoming more positive and uplifting. Every thought, word or action starts a chain reaction.

3) Before social networking, make sure everything else is done; such as homework, personal progress, chores, reading, and anything else worthy of my time. I hate that everyone's lives are becoming overrun by our phones, the internet and social networking drama. I want to talk to someone without them trying to upload a picture to Insta or check their Twitter feed. I know that I need to work on this too.

4) NO more swearing. Sadly, I've gotten into a habit of saying things when I get mad or trying to be funny. It's simple, I just have to stop. I haven't said one yet this year. 3 days in and going strong. hahaha

Two thousand thirteen is going to be a year of new hopes and learning. I'm going to put myself out there to have fun and never regret anything. Recently, my bff Abbi posted something about living every single day like it's your last; to make sure that each day has something memorable because we won't ever have that same day again. I'm going to love like I've never been hurt, mend relationships with old friends and forgive those who have hurt me as well as apologizing to those that I know I've hurt. If I've done something unintentionally, I apologize now. I'm honestly trying to be better. There is nothing in this world that can take me down or stop me from doing what I want...unless my mom says no. I hope to travel and help people I never thought I could. I hope that I will make new friends and learn patience. I hope that I never forget who is most important to me (that will be hard). I hope that I never stop making mistakes as long as I know how to fix them. I hope I try new things, listen to different music, dance a new dance, and never stop taking pictures. I hope that I can influence those around me. I hope I read a million books. I hope I live life like nobody will ever take it away. I hope I live like I am infinite.

So, raise your glass to 2013. Show us what you're made of, baby! And to those of you ready to refocus and make new goals, I wish you the absolute best luck and have faith that you will accomplish your endeavors. Much love, my dears.

xoxo

kylee jean