Testimonies

Today was the first Sunday of the month... which means Fast and Testimony Meeting. I make my very best efforts to fast when necessary but I find it very difficult to walk my shaking, nervous body up to the pulpit and share with everyone what I truly believe. <---- This boggles my mind because I have no problem bearing my testimony in seminary or to my friends but I guess being in church is a different feeling. This morning, (yikes, we started 9 o'clock church today... I barely made it on time, but looked pretty cute(:) I couldn't stop shaking. It's a goal in seminary this month to bear our testimonies at least once and my sunday school teacher texted me and said that she had asked us to go up. I decided that there was a lot riding on this moment, not only for those people who expect me to share, but for myself. Each time I stand at the pulpit and feel the tears swell up in my eyes, the tightness in my throat and my pounding heart, I just know that I need to do it more often. It's a learning experience each time. I learn something new about myself and how I really feel. For me, I try to plan things out and collect my thoughts before but by the time I get the to mic, my mind is blank and I just have word vomit. I'm surprised that I even make sense.

Today was different though. My lip didn't quiver, I didn't sob and I didn't get so nervous that I just ended it and got out as quick as possible. I felt like I carried myself with poise. I did cry, it's inevitable. I felt very calm though and I looked at the audience without any fear. I hope that these moments happen more often than not. Bearing my testimony strengthened my testimony of feeling at peace. God, Jesus Christ and the Spirit often grant us with moments of peace and sometimes it goes unrecognized. Today it was like getting slapped in the face... quietly. hahaha make sense? I haven't felt so calm and peaceful in so long. It felt incredibly good.

I believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church on the earth today. I know that Jesus Christ is MY savior and he atoned for each one of my sins. I'm unbelievably grateful for that knowledge. I am grateful for Joseph Smith and his courage at 14 to get down on his knees, knowing something just wasn't right in his life. I feel forever indebted to these two people. I know that we have temple work to enrich our lives and create eternities for others and ourselves. I LOVE the temples. I know that we have persistent leaders and teachers in the church to make us better and never give up. I've had times that I just wanted to give up because I didn't think it really mattered all that much-I could be happy by myself... WRONG. The only way to be completely blissful in this life is to follow God and his teachings. How grateful I am for the knowledge of eternal happiness, eternal families and repentance. I know these things with a surety in my heart. It takes time to know these things and I have SO much more to learn. I hope that if you don't know any of this, you learn about it and love it like I do. If you do know this, practice it every day. I'm working on it, I promise. I say these these things in the sacred name of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.